I have just finished a 12-weeks’ course on ‘Coping with Cancer Stress’. It was an online course organised by http://www.paulscancersupportcentre.org.uk/. The whole course was pretty much about how to enjoy life more, being more conscious of my thought processes, choosing what to ponder on, what to dismiss right away, relaxing and meditating about all that is actually worth meditating about and the end product was supposed to be a greater inner harmony and peace. I have thoroughly enjoyed the course as it named processes I knew about intuitively and had been practising a lot of the relaxation techniques not being aware of it. I have definitely benefited from the course and am feeling so much more whole in myself! During the meditation and relaxation practices I allowed my mind to experience flashbacks from various moments in my past. I was not struggling to suppress any feelings from those days any more. As crazy as it may sound, this whole cancer battle has helped me to put a lot of things in the right perspective. It is curious how an illness of the body can help the soul get better and the spirit take over the life of the afflicted human….. It really isn’t such a bad thing to be made aware of one’s mortality and how fragile life is, as it is then that every moment in life becomes so precious, colourful and worth living….. No, I would never pray for cancer in my life. However, rather than allowing it to eat at my soul, I have chosen to embrace the situation and milk it as much as possible to be free from many fears, and other harmful mental habits.
Thanks to what I have learnt in the past year, I have closed many chapters in my life that were leading nowhere…. where I clearly lost the plot and the story was being written by those who used me or circumstance which I allowed to overwhelm me….
By closing a few chapters in my life, I permanently ended some story lines and turned to blank pages ready to store new plots or continuation of those that I am still meant to star in 😉
I really have realized somewhere deep inside me that attitude is everything. What is the point of worrying, when worrying cannot change a single thing. I’d rather be firmly in here and now and live fully in here and now. Nobody knows what’s around the corner.
I am ready to move on from the trauma of cancer diagnosis and treatment! I am feeling healed = whole, on a level far deeper than physical, and that is what counts! 🙂 Nevermind the abscess that has not healed yet. It is getting there!
“Feet on the ground
Head in the sky
It’s ok I know nothing’s wrong . . nothing..”