I finished the so called active treatment at the end of April, which means I have been in remission ever since. It, however, does not mean all is well and dandy. It takes time for the body to recover from all the mill of the illness and the treatment and it would be great if I could have at least one month to convalesce somewhere nice…. (sigh). My immune system has been playing up and a few infections have managed to knock me down onto a hospital bed or antibiotics assault. I should be sitting down somewhere in a corner, sprinkling dust on my head, and moan about how life’s been cruel and unfair for me…. For the post treatment health issues coincide with getting divorced and having to look for a new house for myself and my two young sons. I just cannot see how having a negative attitude towards life should help me move on and up from that valley of challenges… For some time I was a member of a few ‘support’ groups. I was looking for encouragement there and was more than eager to encourage others myself. However, the general atmosphere there is that of ‘why me and will it ever end’ mood and you can integrate with the group only by joining the moaning party. While I completely get the need to share emotional pain with others, I cannot see it profitable to make a habit of complaining about everything and everyone around me. Cancer is not a license to give in to bad attitudes… imho. Anyway, I can’t be stuck in the cancer discussions and rants as I just want to enjoy life amidst all the challenges I am still facing. Life is short – the illness has made me painfully aware of it, so painfully that I want to use that pain to fuel my passion for life and squeezing as much as possible out of it. Negativity is counterproductive and so I have left it behind. If others want to indulge in it, it is their choice. I am moving on…. hoping that my body will catch up eventually! 🙂
ps. True support means helping someone to get up and out of misery and not just accompany them in that sad state….